The Highlights of My Day in Media Services

I Heart Media Services: A Play in Five Acts
by Rachel Hochberg

Act One

My supe: When you deliver that TV to E209, the professor wants a Helping Hand.
Me: He doesn't know how to use a TV?
My supe: I guess not.
~In the classroom~
Professor: So, I'm going to give you the tape...
Me: *puts the tape in; it plays automatically* Is this at the right spot?
Professor: Yes.
Me: *stops tape* Ok, you're all set then.
Professor: So I just press play?
Me: Yep.

Act Two

My supe: Can you go back to E209? The professor says his tape is jammed in the VCR and it's not responding.
Me: Ok. *arrives at the classroom, which is empty--the professor has gone on break along with his class*
Me: Huh. Well. *checks TV and VCR*
Professor: *arriving at last* It's not working.
Me: It is now. The TV wasn't on.
Professor: Oh. But I didn't touch it.
Me: Maybe it has a sleep function. (Yeah right.) But it's all set now, you just have to press play.
Professor: What do I do if this happens again?
Me: *after a moment of silence* Hit the Power button. Right there.
Professor: The Power button...okay. Okay.

Act Three

My supe: Can you go to W201? The professor is having trouble getting the volume to work.
Me: Ok. Maybe it's that problem where we have to unplug everything and stuff.
~In the classroom~
Me: Hi, you were having a volume problem?
Professor (who is doing something unrelated to class on her laptop): Yeah, I can't get it loud enough.
Me: *looks at volume control--it's only up a quarter of the way* Um... *turns volume up using the clearly marked button that says Volume with an up arrow; volume level rises, video of Chinese opera is loud and clear* The volume wasn't up high enough.
Professor (not bothering to look at me when she speaks): Ok, thanks.

Act Four

Professor (in the office): Hi. I have a class two days a week in P209, and I want to use the DVD player next week, but the touch panel wasn't working today.
Me: Ok, we'll check it out for you later today.
Professor: Thanks. *wanders out with an air of confusion*
Me: Amy, this dude says his touch panel wasn't working. So I'll go check it out later.
Amy: Hey, that room is where my class is in fifteen minutes. I'll look when I get up there.
Me: Okay.
~A few mintues later~
*The phone rings*
Me: Hello, Media Services, Rachel speaking.
Amy: Hey, it's me. Are you sure that guy said P209?
Me: Yeah.
Amy: Well, there's nothing wrong with the touch panel, it's working fine.
Me: Ok. Then he's just dumb.
Amy: You're having a bad day, aren't you ?
Me: Yeah.

Act Five

My supe: The professor in E209 just sent a student to call us again, because the TV turned itself off. Then while I was on the phone with the student, he pressed the Power button and it came back on.
Me: *wants to throw things*